52 Things Your Mother Never Told You
Have you ever stopped and thought “why did my mother not tell me this?”. I certainly have.
It was the day after our first child was born and I had to get up to use the toilet, located at the far end of a very long hospital corridor.
And the thing is, I couldn’t walk and could barely manage a wobble. It felt as though all of my insides had been squeezed and then poked back into my body, all bruised and swollen.
Nobody told me that would happen, or that it would take weeks to be able to sit without ice.
I also was never enlightened to the fact that when a baby projectile vomits, it looks like a sheet of liquid and surprisingly can reach the other side of the room. I guess that’s why they use the word projectile!
Or that I would feel so tired in those early weeks with a newborn, that I literally lost the capacity to form words and I would cry when I saw my bed because I was so desperate to be in it.
So in the spirit of learning by mistakes, here are some that you may recognise for yourself. And if it happens to be all 52, you are in good company!
- If you knock on a door and it doesn’t open, try another one and keep going – until one opens before you even get there.
- Preheat the oven before baking a cake. It matters!
- Put sunscreen on your child during an overcast day. Don’t let the hiding sun fool you.
- Buying a puppy on a whim because your kids beg you to – usually ends in disaster. Puppies poop and wee in the house for a solid six months (pardon the pun).
- Wear a mask when flying. Aeroplanes are germ infested petri-dishes.
- If you are flying with kids – good luck.
- Don’t miss the opportunity to travel. Often and in far-flung places.
- Don’t become bitter. Ever. It’s a slippery slope to becoming one of those shrivelled, grey nasty people who ooze contempt. Plus it makes you ugly.
- Smile always. Laugh often. Hug your loves for at least 60 seconds each day.
- Hold your kid’s hands when in public. Losing a child whilst shopping is one of the most traumatic experiences a parent can ever face.
- Don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t compare yourself to others. Repeat as often as needed. Daily.
- The grass is never greener on the other side. Never.
- Take risks because you never know what is just around the corner – even if you can’t see it.
- Don’t shy away from difficult situations – they are the mortar that builds a house and make it strong. Strength comes through adversity.
- When and if you become a parent, remember that your spouse was, and always will be, your first love.
- Don’t let your marriage go stale. Invest in quality time together, even if it means hiding in a cupboard together so the kids don’t find you, drinking wine.
- Remember your kids are with you for a short time and your spouse forever. Make your marriage a keeper.
- When the days are long – picture what your life will look like in ten years time. Nothing stays the same.
- Teenage boys smell. Invest in deodorant.
- Teenage girls will cry. A lot. Be patient – at least once a month. You were once that teenager.
- Embrace different cultures and don’t be pig-headed about your nationality being superior.
- Be prepared for storms to follow rainbows. The good news is, it’s generally a constant cycle of life – so hang in there with the tough times.
- Relax – life is way too short to sweat the small stuff.
- Don’t give your kids too many choices. Remember they are little people and you are the adult.
- Don’t keep company with people who make you feel bad. Toxic friends will pull you down.
- Don’t gossip. It’s an unattractive trait. No matter how tempting it may be to slander someone in the moment. It always makes your heart feel black.
- Living a simple life is totally ok. More than ok. It’s paradise once you just let go
- Don’t chase money. It’s like water and slips through your hands quicker than you can grasp it.
- Be content in the moment and stop striving for better. Better is today.
- Don’t let your kids whine. They will turn into obnoxious adults.
- If you allow your kids to answer you back, you are welcoming disrespect into your lives. Guard your heart and theirs.
- Hamsters bite. Get a rabbit instead. Or a fish. They don’t live very long.
- Invest in your kid’s hearts and not the stuff they want.
- Too many after-school activities can cause your kids to become exhausted. Protect their childhood.
- Let your kids play! Climb trees, skin their knees, ride bikes. Fresh air is a child’s best friend.
- If your kids are bored – give them a high five and watch what happens.
- Competition with others makes your teeth grow fangs. Think about it. Fangs will repel people.
- Be content with what you have.
- Don’t over-analyse risks. You won’t leave the house.
- Be kind. Always. To everyone. One day that kindness will return to you tenfold.
- Having a small group of ‘keeper friends’ is better than a gang of many, who make you feel lonely.
- You are your children’s greatest teachers. Don’t underestimate the impact you have on their lives forever.
- Be still for at least 10 minutes a day. Switch off and watch your heart rejuvenate.
- One day your kid’s will grow out of wetting the bed. Grown adults don’t wet themselves, unless they are post-natal women and in that case, you may need to invest in Teena.
- Some days you will smash the world like a boss. Other days you will put your keys in the fridge.
- Be happy. It drives people crazy.
- Silence is the best reply to a fool.
- Don’t worry about the amount of vegetables your kids don’t eat – one day they will be steaming asparagus and eating raw broccoli.
- Surround yourself with people who get you.
- Know that you are a limited edition. Love your soul.
- You may find you have nothing in common with people who wash, dry and put all their laundry away in the same day. This is ok. Welcome to the club of reality with kids.
- Dance in the rain. It’s life-changing.