Pulling The Right Friends.

“Spend more time with people who pull the magic out of you and not the madness”.
~Unknown~

I’m not talking magic of the spell type here but rather that warm feeling that you experience after being in someone’s presence who fills your friendship tank up to full.

I have a handful of these types of friends and I feel so very fortunate to hold them within my inner circle. 

They are the the ones who deposit rather than withdraw. 
They stop to listen, pause to consider a response – not just a quick answer that they think I want to hear and love always. And when I say always I mean they love me through the good and the not so good.
When I am unwell, emotional and just plain unlovable. 
They have stickability which is something of a rarity these days. So my friends, my sticking friends, are very, very precious. And if you can name these sorts of friends on the one hand you are deeply blessed indeed.

We all want our children to spend time in the right company. Have you stopped to consider the company you keep has a knock on effect to your family?

Making the Wrong Decisions for Wholly Right Feelings of Compassion……

A few years ago I made friends with a young mum who was clearly struggling with her small children. 
She was pregnant with her fourth child and I became quite involved in helping her with family life. I allowed my naturally compassionate heart become too involved and soon found myself babysitting, looking after her children and daily supporting her. It was an unwise interaction and not a true friendship and I became exhausted and overwhelmed with the connection.

I learnt a valuable lesson and one which I haven’t repeated since. 
Just because somebody wants to be your friend does not mean they should be your friend. I know it sounds harsh, but when I took an honest look at our friendship, I realised it had nothing to do with friendship at all and all about what I was doing for her. And when it started to have an impact on my own children in that they saw me stressed and anxious – it hit home. My poor decisions, although admirable, were affecting the children in their own home.

“Sometimes you need to be brave enough to say goodbye,

so life can reward you with hello”.

So I made the difficult decision to withdraw my help and daily assistance and it didn’t end well. At all. I felt relieved that the burden was gone and my ex-friend felt very wounded and angry at my withdrawal of help.

I’ve talked a lot about friendship here on this blog. If there is one thing I can’t stress enough it’s this – choose your friends wisely. Just because someone extends the hand of friendship does not mean you need to grasp it. In other words – don’t become friends with everyone. It’s not only impossible but highly unachievable.

Sometimes you need to be brave enough to say goodbye, so life can reward you with hello.
And those hello’s are the ones you truly do want to be free to hear and have the energy to reciprocate. Because those friendships are the ones that hold the true threads of gold and silver in your clasp. 
These are your keepers. Forever and always.
Don’t be blinded by the takers and the withdrawers. Make room for the lifelong keepers.
These are your people.

You may also like

2 Comments

  1. I really love this. I have these same thoughts and even wrote a blog involving this theme. I didn’t do it as well as you! Great words. I like reading you!

    1. Hey Ashton!
      Thanks so much for leaving a comment. You should totally write a blog on this theme as we all need constant encouragement in this area. All the best with your future endeavours and I hope you manage to find some space to sit and be still. Love Catherine x